Do not make excuses and keep the kids out of it. Generally it is a tendency of us to make false excuses. Most of the times when we fail to do some work we find excuses and at times blame others for it. Especially with married people it is the children who are the soft targets. Often when you are unable to do some work you find yourself saying "I could not do it as I had to help the kids in completing the homework. Or "I had no time; my whole day went looking after the kids". There are many such excuses you make targeting the kids for your failure of not completing some or the other work because you forgot or did not want to do it.
When your partner wants to be intimate with you and you are not in the mood again it your sweet little kids you get in between to avoid the situation by making the excuse of having to get up early morning to help them complete their homework or prepare special breakfast for them. Do not use little kids as the pawns in your relationship.
Whenever you tend to make such excuses targeting the kids you create an ill feeling towards them. If the children are big enough to understand then certainly they are not going to appreciate that. There could be an ill feeling in your partner towards the children ant the children could develop it toward you for getting them in between for no reason. Nobody likes to be blamed without a fault. Ill feelings among each other create a gap between family members there is lack of communication, misunderstanding and bitterness. In the long run it leads to conflicts and serious problems.
First and foremost be honest with your partner. When you forget to do some work say it and apologize for it. Your partner is not going to nag you for it. If you were tired say it your partner is considerate and understands it. Rather he will be concerned for you. Next time your mate will be considerate enough to see whether you are busy or not and will not demand unnecessarily.
To spend time together make sure that your kids go to bed on time, so that you two can enjoy the company of each other. This will not only make you two happy but also your kids. They will not undergo a tensed atmosphere created by your arguments and conflicts. Generally children undergo a kind of strain in their mind due to the conflicts of the parents which the parents are unable to see or understand. This also creates a negative attitude in them which not good for them since it is their growing age. If children are brought up with ill feelings then it does affect their personality. All of us want our children to grow up as healthy, successful personalities with positive attitude. But often parents do not realize that due to such mistakes they are creating a barrier for their children to build a positive character.
Always make it a point whatever the argument or conflict keep the children out of it and try not to quarrel in front of them. Help them develop a positive attitude in life.
It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.--Friedrich Nietzsche
You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves.--Saint Francis de Sales
Find more information visit: Relationship: Keep the Kids Out of It
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