What Relationship Counseling Does
Relationship counseling is a helpful tool in improving a relationship. It is as helpful in saving a troubled marriage from divorce. It helps couples know each other better, provide ways to improve their relationship and identify behaviors that work well and which needs change.
To know yourself and your partner better, counseling provides a conducive and safe place where you can share your thoughts and feelings with each other. It also encourages you to recognize each other's wants and needs.
Counseling provides ways to improve your relationship. By focusing on your communication and interaction patterns, you will learn how to communicate better, discuss and solve problems without fighting and how to communicate your love to each other effectively.
Identify behaviors that sustain good relationship and change which doesn't. Repeating behaviors can be considered habits. If you and your partner find yourselves reacting and interacting in the same way every time and if these forms of interaction end in fights and conflicts, these negative habits and patterns must be changed.
What Relationship Counselling Does NOT Do
Many couples have misconceptions about relationship counseling. What relationship counseling does NOT do are the following:
Give advice to end the relationship or get a divorce. Unless you or your partner wants to end it, counseling will never imply or suggest that you end it in any way. Counseling for couples aims to help couples resolve their problems and improve relationships. But if ending the relationship is the only option, it can also provide support and guidance through the process.
Give personal opinion about you or your partner. It is not for counsellors to give personal opinion about you or your partner. They are there to give advice based on objective observations. To give their opinion affects the way they handle the situation and will only cause harm to your relationship.
Promise to change your partner. Nobody can change you or your partner unless it is a voluntary action. Counselling will only suggest changes in behavior, perception and interaction patterns but it is up to you and your partner to change yourselves.
What YOU Can Do in Relationship Counseling
Relationship counseling can only be effective and successful if you play your part in it. What you can do to help improve your relationship can be summarized in the following:
Identify the problems and their causes. You will have the task to identify the problems in your relationship and help discover what causes these problems.
Explore your role in the problems and in an objective way.
Explore the things that need change in yourself and in your relationship.
Relationship problems are common in every relationship and these can be addressed through relationship counseling. To be effective, you and your partner must have the correct expectations. Being aware of what counseling for couples does and does not do to help your relationship will also guide you in playing your part to make it work and save your relationship from falling apart.
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