Follow these guidelines and you will take the fun out of your marriage quicker than Sehwag can score a 50.
1) Become a workaholic: I truly love my work and I respect people with high aspirations and drive. Some of us get pleasure in being in 'the zone' where your creative juices are flowing and don't want to be disturbed. Some of us have bosses whose entire life revolves around deadlines and client satisfactions. Of course, in order to move up you need to display the same commitment. What we forget while running through our daily life is that we can only run that fast for so long. You might be able to for a while but then you would need a longer break before you can sprint again. Instead, let's treat our work more as a marathon with timely nourishment to keep you going for longer. Your spouse and family is that nourishment that you should appreciate and make time for.
2) Ignore your health: Don't you hate people who have a disciplined workout or sports routine. How the hell do they stick to it? I think what they have realized is that eating well, exercising and keeping addictions in check is a long term investment which always pays off. If you on the other hand wake up at 10am, work all day without lifting your ass for a glass of water, have a running tab with the neighborhood samosawala and consider drinking beer as your arm workout I got news for you - it will catch up with your health and then it will be too late.
Life may seem great now but a bad back and beer belly won't please your heart or the ladies. Unless you are OK with being alive only till 50 and OK with leaving your partner wanting more than 5 minutes of sex I recommend you took a serious look at your habits.
Start with a few changes dude, evening walk a couple of times a week, round of tennis on the weekend, whatever. Even better, do these activities with your partner and she will not complain about not getting enough 'quality time' with you.
3) Treat your wife like a maid: Guys, I agree there's nothing better than wanting to be treated like a king. That doesn't meant your queen needs to become a maid. Hire one! If you really like giving orders around the house and need everything to be picture freaking perfect hire a damn maid. Your wife didn't sign up to be a domestic servant so stop making her feel like that. If you can't afford a maid, work hard, save more and then hire one. You might think you are being the boss but all you're doing is making it easy for your wife to respect you less.
4) Lie rather than be confronted: I have read studies that indicate men lie more before marriage and women after. Either way, both partners end up suffering when lying creeps in. You don't want to always have your guard up if you are going to get caught or not. If you don't give a shit about getting caught that's a pretty good sign that you don't want to be in the relationship to begin with. Lying is just a way to get out.
All I can say is that if you see yourself lying to avoid an argument with your spouse, stop and argue. Let it out, but don't lie. I'm not an advocate of arguments but it's much easier to argue, make up and move on than get caught lying. Be a man; don't take the easy way out.
5) Start taking them for granted: Entire marriage life cannot be a honeymoon, I get it. She shouldn't expect you to be romantic all the time and share her fairy tale fantasies. However, things really start going downhill when you stop appreciating, respecting, listening and conversation with her. I am sure you have a bunch of responsibilities - job, clients, parents, kids, hobbies etc. However, your partner is working just as hard as you are and needs the same appreciation as well. I don't care if she's a career woman or a housewife; they both are just as demanding as your job. So get off your high horse and start giving some respect.
Find things that you had in common and make time for them - drive in the evening, dinner and movie, music, bookstore whatever.
6) Cheat: There's nothing more stressful in marriage than cheating. You should avoid it at all cost. She might forgive you for being a pig and not cleaning up after yourself or how you got drunk at her sister's wedding and threw up in the car but forgiveness after having a one night stand or an affair is next to impossible. You might escape under some circumstances but don't expect it to be the same like before. She might end up staying with you because she fears what society would think; maybe she is worried about the kids or is financially dependent on you. Whatever the reason of her forgiveness, it is going to be a bitter life for you my friend.
It's probably the hardest decision to make when opportunity and temptation meet but I guess that's what separates a gentleman from a dog. So, keep it in the pants and put a "off the market" sign on it if you have to.
Ask yourself 'Am I better off losing her or this opportunity?'
How else can we men screw it up?
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