How Can A Man Love You But Cheat On You?

I hear a lot from wives and girlfriends who are quite confused. They have recently caught their boyfriends and husbands cheating. And yet, the men are insisting that things can be worked out, that nothing really has to change, and that they still love their wives every bit as much as they always have. The women often ask me how in the world this contradiction can possibly be true. How on earth can someone love and be committed to one woman and yet secretly be with someone else? How can you treat someone you love this way and discount them in this manner?

Often the women asking me this have asked their husbands and boyfriend the very same question. As a response, they are often told that the affair had nothing to do with their feelings for her. They will often insist that the affair meant nothing, was a huge mistake, and will not happen again. These answers and responses just are not sufficient for most of us. We want to know everything. We want to know EXACTLY what they were thinking about both them and us and why they were thinking it.

However, often we're disappointed. Sometimes, the man is just trying to be evasive because he doesn't want to hurt us, he's ashamed, or he has something to hide. Other times, he's just unable to articulate the inner workings of this whole thing because he doesn't fully understand it himself. He truly has no idea why he acted in such an embarrassing way and he truly doesn't have any answers for you except that he's sorry, that he loves you, and that he'll make it up to you.

But, men are more likely to share the background and the story behind this situation with women who aren't their wife. I've heard from a lot of them. I can and will share with you what they often tell me about how they can betray you and yet still honestly think they love you, all at once.

Men Often See The Affair Or The Cheating As A Way To Solve A Problem Or To Relieve Some Tension. Sometimes, It Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Their Feelings For You: I'm not saying that some men don't cheat because things are difficult or unsatisfying at home. I hear this enough of the time. But, more often, I hear men say that they were very stupid because their wife was loving, loyal, and without blame. Often, something within them changed as they faced some struggle or some doubt.

In this economy, it's sometimes a loss of a job or a home or even that feeling of security that they've got providing for their family covered. It's surprisingly common that the death of a parent can bring on confusing feelings of restlessness that leave men vulnerable. There are many other examples that would take forever to list. But, some of the more common ones are making new, younger friends or being introduced to new situations or having some stress or doubt invading their lives in some way.

Often these things will cause unexpected and building tension and self doubt. There's almost an internal crisis happening at the time. Often, they will clam up, isolate themselves, and not seek help or relief. This creates the perfect storm for them to act impulsively when the right person or situation presents itself.

At no time during this process did their feelings for you change. It was their circumstances, their coping mechanisms, and their thought process that changed drastically, but it had much less to do with you than you are probably assuming right now.

If The Cheating Has Happened More Than Once, Use Caution Unless They Can Prove That They Are Rehabilitated: Here's the thing. I come across many couples who have one incident of infidelity, work together to over come it, move on, and then never have to deal with this as a recurrence. (And these are often the men that I truly believe when they insist they never stopped loving their wife or girlfriend.)

However, there are some couples that deal with this over and over again. When this happens, it can most certainly be harder to believe that he still loves you. Because, he knows exactly how badly the last infidelity shook you and yet here he is still cheating. In these cases, there are sometimes cultural norms or situations that condone cheating. Or, the man is having reoccurring personal issues that he is not addressing or is not solving.

Whatever the reason for this, having him continue to cheat on you and yet insist that he loves you becomes harder and harder to take. The more you allow this, the less likely it is that he will ever be rehabilitated. It's possible that he does sincerely love you, but in order for you to have a healthy relationship, you're going to have to demand that this cycle ceases once and for all. If he truly loves you and is committed to the relationship, he should be willing to work with you to end this cycle.

I hope this article has shown you that it's sometimes entirely possible to love someone and make a mistake. You might be facing a situation where he is sincere but is not expressive enough to help you understand fully. This is where you'll sometimes have to nudge him along and make very clear what you need from him to start the healing. If he loves you as much as he says, he will typically be willing to struggle along until you get what you need.

I didn't believe my husband at first when he said he still loved me. But, thankfully, he did not give up and things improved. Although I never would've believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband's affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. Because of all the work I did on myself, my self esteem is at an all time high. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can reada very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/.

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Do Men Really Want Their Wives Back After They Cheated?

I often hear from both wives who are affected by a husband's affair as well as the women that they sometimes cheat with. Often, the wives are having trouble believing that the husband sincerely wants to come back and to save the marriage. They secretly believe that he's just saying what he needs to say to avoid a costly divorce or to keep from losing his children.

Meanwhile, I'll sometimes hear from the mistress who will say things like: "I gave him everything that he wanted. I didn't make demands on him. I did what I could to provide what he said that his wife wouldn't. Why, then, has he gone back to her? I don't understand. He told me all sorts of things about his wife and now he's with her. What did I do wrong?"

I'll try my best to answer these concerns on both sides (and to share some insights that cheating husbands share with me) in the following article.

How Husbands Really Feel About The Other Woman?: It would be inaccurate and unfair to say that every husband who cheats has similar feelings about the mistress. Every man, and every relationship, is going to be different. Some man tell me that the mistress really doesn't mean anything to them emotionally, although she does provide an outlet when they are going through the personal issues that he perceives as too troubling, shameful, or embarrassing to share with you.

Some men actually think that they love their mistresses, but this often does not last. He will sometimes project things onto her that he later learns don't really exist. He wants to see her as the temporary answer to his problems or as the thing that will make him feel better or more confident. The problem with this is that ultimately as time goes by, he can't help but realize that he's been generous or inaccurate in his perceptions about her. He might even eventually come to realize that there is no one, and no thing, that can help him with his problems other than himself.

Mistresses often write to me quite angry and upset when a husband decides to end things. Many of them really have believed what he was telling them. At the time, they are not able to see that if he is deceitful to his wife, the one person who knows him better than anyone else, why then would he suddenly be truthful to a stranger? The reality is that he is often telling the mistress exactly what she wants to hear and what will allow for him to carry this out. It's often not even close to reality, but it's what they both need to hear to see this through.

Many women who cheat with other women's husbands intellectually know that the situation they are in is generally not a desirable one, but they get so caught up into it, that they will attempt to think that their situation is "different." They want to believe the husband. They want to believe that they are special, and unique, and that they "get him" in a way that other women don't. And, you really can't totally blame them for this. We are all guilty of acting in ways that allow us to believe that we are getting our heart's desires. It's just a matter of self preservation as we see it at the time.

Determining If Your Husband Really Wants To Come Back To You Or If He's Just Trying To Avoid The Undesirable Fall Out Of Being Caught Cheating: Many wives tell me that they don't begin to believe that their husband is sincere in wanting to save the marriage. They think that he just doesn't want to lose his family or his money. And, this is sometimes true. But, you often can't make this call immediately. Right after you find out about the affair, emotions are very high. People sort of grasp at straws and sometimes say or do things that don't mean. It's often only after the dust settles and his actions have to back up his words that you get a clear picture of what is really happening.

Sometimes you just have to commit to waiting this out to see if the picture will become more clear. Generally speaking though, over time, men who sincerely want to save their marriages make this evident by staying put, being truthful and honest, doing what needs to be done to begin the healing process, and having the patience and commitment to walk with you as you both deal with this. They will generally take responsibility and take the initiative because they know that this was their fault and their choice.

Now, you may not be able to even stand the sight of them at first. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with removing yourself from the situation until you are calm enough to be receptive without blinding anger. And, we all know that this may well take a while. There is nothing wrong with that. This truly is a process that takes some time.

What Some Men Tell Me About How They Really Feel About Their Wives After An Affair: Granted, there are some men out there who continue to be dishonest after you catch them cheating. No one can deny that. But, I really can not tell you how many correspondences I get from men who ask me what they can do to make this up to their wives. They are actually quite horrified and embarrassed. They often use phrases like "I don't know what I was thinking," or "what an old fool I was." Sure, they are looking for sympathy and advice. I can't deny this either. But, I can tell you that sometimes, the threat of losing what was important all along is enough to get these men to "wake up" and see what is really important.

I can't tell you which category your own husband falls into, but often if you reevaluate after the passage of time, he will give off some clues and will show you some actions that will help you determine if he really does want to return to you in an honest and rehabilitative way.

My husband never said the right words that made me believe he was sorry and really did want to save the marriage. But over time, his actions did. Although I never would've believed this two years ago, my marriage is stronger than ever after my husband's affair. It took a lot of work, and I had to play the game to win, but it was worth it. I no longer worry my husband will cheat again. You can read a very personal story on my blog at http://surviving-the-affair.com/

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What to do about a cheating wife

Today women are set as free as men in the modern society after the women's freedom movement. Women are working in almost every field of life with men. In many parts of the world it becomes routine to work late hours or in a complex environment to fulfill the basic needs. In these circumstances scalding affairs with other man or other woman of a cheating wife are as common as of a cheating husband.

This is not as much suspicious as it is taken today. Many sociological changes make path toward such things in our life. For many husbands it is much difficult to bear that their wife is cheating on them. When ever they noticed any slight changes in their life, they just think to end up their marriage. But this is not the right thing to do; one should find out whether his wife is cheating or it is just confusion and if she is cheating in real than what makes the wife to cheat?

If you are suspicious about your wife then make a check. If you observe any sudden changes in your wife, than start observing her but try to make it secret from your wife. The following points may help you to know whether your wife is cheating or not.

Act independently - if your wife suddenly starts living independently, that is she no longer needs you to go with her for shopping, no longer wants to be with you at weekends, it would be a bad signal for you that someone else is taking your place.

No more criticism - if your wife starts accepting your each and every act without any objection and in past she used to criticize you rottenly than this may also a point to be worried that why she no longer cares about.

Late working hours - if your wife is working late hours without any return in income than may be she spends more time with her girl friends or boy friends. Getting more hours working on internet or chatting with someone special with craze is also a victim.

Question back - whenever you ask any question from your wife, she frequently used to question back from you becoming bit aggressive.

If you are sure she is cheating on you, work on it but don't try to disclose it on your wife. Give some time to her, ask whether there is any problem, and share her that she has been acting very differently in a couple of days and try to ensure her that you are much worried about her if she is facing any problem . This will build a strong confidence in your wife for you. Ask her if she needs any help or extra care in the relationship and you want to know the reason if any.

Oops, your wife is a cheater, what to do know

If your wife is a cheater, you had to do some thing about it. There are several ways of handling such a situation but if you want to continue your marriage, you should take the best action.

If you are sure she is cheating on you, work on it but don't try to disclose it on your wife. Give some time to her, ask whether there is any problem, and share her that she has been acting very differently in a couple of days and try to ensure her that you are much worried about her if she is facing any problem. This will build a strong confidence in your wife for you. Ask her if she needs any help or extra care in the relationship and you want to know the reason if any. Make your wife feel that you really love her than try to act as you know each and every thing about her cheating and still you forgive her and forget the past. Show that you trust her as you did before the incident.

You may ask for help from a good and sensible friend, hire a private investigator. But the best place to get a start is the internet. There are a lot of websites which help people like you, keeping your each and every word secret.cheating-wife.org is also a good website which helps people know how cheating wife acts, how to know a cheater. Such websites are beneficial as each and every thing is explained and what you to do are to make it practical.

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3 Signs That She Is Preparing To Cheat

There are many indications that your wife may be thinking about cheating. It is important to understand that most individuals that are being cheated on never actually catch their wives in the act.

For this reason, it is important to know and understand the signs.

Most individuals that are being cheated on typically have a feeling that something isn't right, even though it's relatively difficult to pinpoint. In this article, you will be introduced to a few signs that your wife is preparing to cheat, because the idea is to stop it before it happens.

Most guys interpret this "weird feeling" as she is cheating. When in fact, she hasn't done anything.

One of the first signs that she is getting ready to cheat is not actually a behavior that your wife engages in. It is a feeling that you get.

Many men find that before they are able to establish that their wife is cheating, they actually have a strong feelin g that something is not at all right in the relationship. There are some instances in which these feelings are nothing more than insecurity.
However, is some cases, these instincts are correct and a person is about to be cheated on. It is important to ensure that you trust your instincts about a situation in your relationship. However, if you are an insecure person or a person that experiences complications associated with trust, it is likely that your instincts will not be correct about the situation.

Many women have a large number of friends.

Women are highly social creatures who often have a mix of female and male friends. This should not bother you. There is nothing wrong with someone having friends. However, if you find that she seems a bit more interested in one particular friend - especially if they are male - than the others, it may be appropriate to become a bit concerned over the issue.

She may start to talk about this friend more than the rest. She may show a lot of interest in this person. If she starts to compare you to this friend be on high alert.

It's a subtle, but very loud sign.

Her heightened level of interest may not stem from an actual affair that is occurring, but it could be from an infatuation or other types of feelings she is developing for that person.

This is the step that takes place prior to cheating.

The next sign is that she starts to display a lack of interest in you in general.

I always tell my clients that this is the final phase.

Most married women show a fair amount of interest in the men that they are married to. If you start to find that your wife does not show this interest, it could be that she has discovered someone else to show interest in.

In many instances, the cheating has yet to occur and you can actually put a stop to it and save the relationship before you lose it.

The best solution is a combination of 3 things: "knowing the signs that your wife may be cheating", understanding her needs and figuring out if you're making any seduction mistakes.

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Why men cheat, the most common reason

It's a sad fact that many men cheat on their spouses. It is estimated that 1 in 3 men have or will cheat on their wives, that number climbs to 1 in 5 for unmarried men cheating on their girlfriends.
There are several reasons for men cheating on there wives or significant other.

Most women think that the reason for their man's infidelity, is a lust for a more attractive, slimmer, younger, sexier woman. They are partially right, men do lust other women, (as do women lust other men). That's one of the 7 deadly sins and it's been going on since the beginning of time, and will continue until the end of time.

But lust is usually not the common reason for men cheating on their significant other.
The lack of attention and admiration at home is the most common reason for a man's infidelity.
Men CRAVE attention and admiration. When a man does not feel admired at home, his resistance to lust become's weak.

Men do not pursue other women to intentionally cheat on their spouse. But if a man is not getting the attention and admiration he craves for his spouse, he is more aware of any attention that another woman is showing him. The more attention this other woman shows him, the more receptive he is to it, until finally his resistance to lust is overwhelmed by his need for attention and admiration.

When a man feels admiration from his spouse, and is getting the attention he craves. He does not want to lose that love, admiration, attention, and trust. So he becomes immune to his lustful thoughts. He is still going to have lustful thoughts, but if he is getting the love, admiration, attention, and trust he craves at home. He will keep his lustful thoughts in check elsewhere.

Monogamy is crucial for a healthy, happy, and lasting relationship. And this article is not to condole infidelity for any reason. In most cases though, a man cheating on his significant other, can usually be prevented simply by showing your man how much you admire and adore him. Make him feel needed, and appreciated. Brag about his accomplishments, don't leave the door open for someone else to show him the attention that he want's from you.

Attention and admiration is what your man craves from you. show him that he has it from you, and he won't feel the need to get it elsewhere.

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Sign Of A Cheating Husband

In my experience it hasn't been that the women didn't know a sign of a cheating husband, it has been that they ignored them to keep the peace. Looking the other way. A Cheating husband leaves many signs and it is easy to catch him when you know what to look for and especially how to go about it.

With the women that I have helped catch their cheating husbands, it started with seeing the signs and then doing something about it. Let's look at some of those each sign and you check off the ones that apply to you:

1. The cheating husband and his cell phone. Is the cell phone on silent mode when he is home? One sign is that it is on vibrate and does not ring. Do you ever see him glance down at it then put it away without every saying a word. Does he go to the bathroom for long periods of time and talk on the phone. Watch the cell phone.

2. Working late. Now this will be a pattern that just jumps up out of nowhere. All of the sudden the cheating husband has to work late and if you notice the paychecks- the overtime doesn't show up. This is a big sign of a cheating husband. Does he have emergency calls out late at night and leave for hours at a time. This is definitely one sign of infidelity.

3. Communication. Is the talking less than it normally is? Does he keep the distant look in his eyes? When he is with you- somehow you notice that he's off in another world. He may start fights over the smallest of things just so he can leave. He just doesn't want to talk about it. This is another sign of a cheating husband. When a husband is cheating the talking comes to a halt. Unless you question him. Then he will talk for days trying to get out of the sticky situation.

4. Grooming habits change for the better. Now out of second field he actually cares what he looks like. He buys new clothes and joins the gym. The treadmill comes out of the basement and he is sweating hard for somebody- Just make sure it's for you.

5. The cheating husband in the bedroom. Now other experts will tell you that the intimacy in the bedroom will dry up. But I have found this to not always be the case. In some situations, we have found that he more intimate and comes up with some new moves to try... Yes, there is a point where he falls in love with the lover and then the intimacy dries up because in his warp way of thinking- He feels guilty.

6. Last, is a sign of a cheating husband will come forth in his computer habits. Does he stay on the computer working way late into the night? Does he use email accounts that you don't know the password to? You can place a keylogger software on his computer and he will never know a thing about it being there. The software I have even shows screenshots of everything he looks at on the internet. Several women caught their husband after just one night. Very powerful strategy.

Now there are obvious other signs of a cheating husband. You know the lipstick on the collar and the hotel receipt laying on the dresser but these are far and few between. If you were paying attention to these signs, the truth is that several of these signs of a cheater could be going on and he wasn't cheating. The signs in and of themselves are not the answer. You must get solid evidence then confront him.

Learn the truth because you deserve it. You don't have to leave an entire life with those sleepless nights. Discover what he's doing and who he's doing it with. Use proven investigative techniques and find out in days... if not hours. Visit our site now for more free information:http://www.detectivecatchescheater.com

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Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs - Is Your Wife Cheating on You

It is human nature to be suspicious at times about the faithfulness of your partner however; at times suspicion is justified especially if your wife displays any of the 5 signs mentioned below.

Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs 1 Women try to look their best when they are trying to be more sexually attractive. It may be time to consider, is you wife cheating on you if she has a new attraction towards losing weight and getting back in shape without any occasion around the corner.

Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs 2 Women tend to nag and criticize their men in order to make them meet their standards and if your wife has stopped criticizing you and is being indifferent about things she previously got irritated about, it is wise to consider the possibility that there is another man in her life who she finds perfect.

Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs 3 Cheaters lie when they feel that they are being cornered. If your wife is cheating on you she will most likely lie when she is heading outdoors or staying out late.

Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs 4 If your wife wants to experiment new sexual tricks with you frequently and she previously had no interest in doing so, she is most likely experimenting to see if you like the trick so that she can try it on another man. Most women tend to try things on their husbands before they try them on the man they are cheating with.

Unfaithful Cheating Wife Signs 5 If your wife encourages you to spend time with your male friends and go out often it may be time to wonder is your wife cheating on you. This is an important sign especially if your wife would not like you spending time with your friends previously but has suddenly become accommodating and understanding.

Since lies are a crucial way to hide the truth, in order to catch a cheating wife it is crucial to learn about various changes that happen when a person lies. The free report "Seven Deadly Signs Your Being Lied To explains in depth about lies and how to understand if youre being cheated on.

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